Hidden
by in-prose
Summary: Even with Michael dead, the threat was not gone for long. Teyla makes the impossible decision to hide her son away on an unimportant planet and leave him there. She will do whatever it takes to keep him safe. Post season 5.
1. Part 1

Title: Hidden

Spoils: All Episodes are fair game

Summary: Even with Michael dead, the threat was no gone for long. Teyla makes the impossible decision to hide her son away on an unimportant planet and leave him there. She will do whatever it takes to keep him safe.

Author's Notes: This is my first finished SGA fic. No beta, so please forgive my mistakes. Comments = love.

Disclaimer: These are not my characters, I just play with them. No copyright infringement intended.

Hidden

The boy was strange. He looked strange. His olive skin, tawny hair, and dark eyes stood out in the village filled with pale skin, blond hair, and blue eyes. He acted strange. His was often by himself. He had no parents. Most villagers avoided the woods. The legends told of beasts and witches and they knew of the predators that devoured the livestock. The boy and his strange caretaker would disappear into the trees for days at a time. It was clear that the outsiders were in fact outsiders.

Only the Elders knew the entire story, the special arrangements. The villagers knew only it was for the boy's protection. The man, the woman—the mother—and the boy walked through the Stargate one day. The mother spoke with the Elders for a long time. The man and the boy, who was only four at the time, stayed in the square. The village watched through the gaps in curtains.

The people of Weldon did not get many strangers. They had contact with other worlds, but they knew the traders they met with. When the mother emerged, she held her child tightly and wept. Then, she left. The man and the boy were given a small house at the end of a row. The mother did not come back. The boy grew older. He went to the school with the other children; the caretaker went to the pub with other men. The villagers were polite, but very cautious. No one really got to know them. They preferred it that way and they believed that strange boy and his strange caretaker preferred it too.

* * *

><p>Torren trudged back to the house with his head down. A group of other kids charged past. They laughed and called to each other in the local language. It wasn't taught in the school, but they spoke it about home with their parents. Torren only understood bits and pieces of it; he did not speak it at home. The others were going to play ball in the field behind the school and he wasn't going to be invited.<p>

Someone yelled back to him, "Bye, Torren."

He looked up knowing who it would be. "See you tomorrow, Marcy."

The girl flashed him a smile and kept running. Her blonde braid flowing behind her. They shared a desk in class. They were friends, kind of. Her brother was in their class too and he hated Torren. Jacob tormented Torren as if he deserved a punishment, but Torren could not think of what he had done. He had beaten Jacob twice with the simplest bantos move and still he was tortured.

Jacob was the biggest boy in school and probably the meanest. Nobody wanted to get on his bad side and everybody knew he didn't like the strange boy from a different world. The other kids listened to Torren, if he was given the chance, but he kept quiet most of the time. He didn't like to fight and when he disagreed with Jacob, it always ended in a fight after school when the teacher wasn't looking.

The kids were long gone when Torren turned down the little path the cut through to the house where he lived. He pushed open the door a few seconds later. Petre looked up from his carving.

"Hello, Torren," he said, showing the gaps in his teeth.

"Hi."

"How was school? Any fights?"

"Not today."

"Good boy."

Torren didn't say anything else. He flopped onto his bed in corner on the open living space. Their house had only two rooms. One for Petre and then one living room divided in half. Part for the cooking area, a table, a few chairs and part for Torren's bed and dresser. The room was dark and the furniture within it was solidly built. There were hardly any personal touches.

He watched Petre for moment. The man was aging. His hair was grey and he could barely keep up with Torren when they went into the woods, where Torren learn of his Athosian history. He had been a powerful man, but that had been before Torren was born. He guessed that was why Petre was chosen to look after him.

Torren had a peculiar impression of himself. He was somehow important. He was hidden away he because he had been in danger. His mother had left him here because he was important and because he was in danger. His father was dead and he was not safe. He didn't really remember his mother. She was more of a feeling. He thought he remembered her face, but mostly he remembered her warm skin. He remembered her voice. She used to sing to him.

Her absence was something he thought about all the time. It followed him like a shadow. He coped better with the idea of death. His father was dead. There was nothing that could change that. His mother was alive somewhere, or so he hoped. She could come back for him. She absence might not be everlasting. He knew he didn't belong in his village. He belonged with his mother wherever she was. He loved Petre and appreciated everything he had done, but it was not enough to fill the hole.

He wondered as he offended did what his mother was doing. Was she safe? Why hadn't she come for him?

Torren rolled over and faced the wall. Why hadn't she come for him? It had been five years. Petre was teaching him to be strong, both in his movements and in his emotions. Athosians were a peaceful people, but they were not weak. He thought his tears would be seen as a weakness and so would admitting that his just wanted his mother.

"Bantos training in half an hour," said Petre.

"No."

"Excuse me?" said Petre forcefully.

"Not today."

"You will listen to me, Torren." It was not a question.

He was saved actually having to respond. There were a few raised voices outside and then kids shouting as they ran passed on their way from the field. One child stopped outside. "Torren! C'mon! New people just came through the Stargate. They have on uniforms," Marcy yelled through the screen door.

Torren shot up and moved towards the door.

"Stay were you are," ordered Petre.

Torren saw the fear in Petre's eyes, but he was feeling defiant. He pushed open the door and was gone.

With Marcy beside him, Torren pushed his way through the growing crowd around the Stargate. Uniforms could be from Atlantis. There were a group of four men standing on the platform that the gate rested on. They wore black uniforms and black caps and carried large, shinning guns. They were all stocky and had sharp eyes. One of skin darker than any person Torren had ever seen.

"They're from Atlantis," Marcy squealed and she squeezed Torren's arm.

This group of people was as legendary as the witches in the woods. Now, Torren was looking at them. He peered around other people trying to get a better look. Suddenly someone grabbed his shoulder and it wasn't Marcy.

Petre's face was only inches away when Torren spun around. "Go back to the house." He didn't yell, but voice was more dangerous than Torren had ever heard. His grasp was tight.

"You are hurting me," said Torren as he tried to squirm away.

"Listen to me. I am here to protect you. Go back to the house."

Torren looked back in the direction of the Stargate. One of the Elders was stepping forward. He looked to Marcy. Petre tighten his grip.

"Now," he hissed.

The tone of Petre's voice might have been enough to get Torren to obey, but the pain in his shoulder definitely was. He allowed Petre to pull him away. Petre did not lead him back to their house, but to a neighbor's.

Petre politely knocked on the door. A round woman with a baby on her hip opened it after a pause. Jessica was a kindly woman with a couple of kids who still found time to keep an eye on the bachelor and his charge. She sometimes gave them leftover stews and she had made their curtains.

"Is there news?" she asked looking worried.

"Nothing as yet. Do not be troubled. I do not wish Torren to be in the crowd. Could be possibly stay here? I do not trust him to follow my directions."

Jessica raised an eyebrow and Petre explained, "He was being disobedient this afternoon. This is his punishment."

Torren opened his mouth. He knew there was something much more going on here.

"That is not—" Torren began.

"Keep silent," ordered Petre in the same commanding tone.

Torren shut his mouth.

"If anyone comes asking, do not give your own name and do not mention me," said Petre to Torren.

"Are we in danger?" asked Jessica, "My children—"

"I do not mean to scared you, Jessica," said Petre, "I am just wary of strangers."

She looked unconvinced, but didn't say anything further. Petre turned to Torren, "Please, stay here. Do as you are instructed."

Torren folded his arms across his chest and nodded. Petre left. Jessica sighed, "You are a strange pair."

Torren did not answer her.


	2. Part 2

Author's Notes: No beta, so please forgive my mistakes. Comments = love. I'm hoping to keep the parts coming this quickly. Fingers crossed my muse stays interested.

Disclaimer: These are not my characters, I just play with them. No copyright infringement intended.

Part 2

Teyla realized very quickly that there was no point in trying to do any work or anything really. So, she paced. When her room was no longer big enough, she moved into passage and then found herself wondering aimlessly through out Atlantis.

She had been told that the time would fly by, that she would wonder where the years went. She had experienced nothing like this. She could count each day for the last five years one by one. They were long and painful and the nights were even worse. It had been for his protection. She had killed Michael; she had thought they were safe. They had been a family.

Others had taken Michael's place. John had said, "Same problems, different day." But he had been wrong. The new leaders of Michael's faction lacked much of his intelligence and all of the connection he had shared with Teyla. They came to Atlantis again and again and every time their goal had been her son. In the last battle, Kannan had been killed along with twelve Athosians and twenty-six Atlantis personnel. There were quiet talks of a traitor, that the attackers knew Atlantis' weaknesses too well.

She decided the only way to protect her child was to hide him away, to make him a face in the crowd on a nameless planet. She could not go with him. Her face was known. She needed to stay and fight; she needed to be a barrier between her child and those who sought him. She lost everything in a few weeks. Her partner, her love, and then her child, her sweet little boy who looked so much like her.

She was the only person in the universe who knew where he was hidden, apart from Petre. Nothing, no amount of torture, nothing would force her to reveal the local. Until now.

Petre was not Athosian, but had transplanted to Athos with his father when he was a boy. He had grown up with Teyla's father and had become one of the elders in the community. Teyla trusted him and he obviously did not have the share the unusual dark features that the Athosians had.

The leaders who replaced Michael had been dead for a year; a young scientist from Hoff supposedly helping with the research was found to be the traitor around the same time. John told her she didn't need to wait so long. Ronon told her she didn't need to wait so long. So did Rodney, Jennifer, Carson, Sam, and countless others. Still she had waited. There was no power struggle. No one rose to power. One whole year. At long last, she decided it was time.

Despite everyone's urging, she did not simply go and get him. She still did not want his identity revealed outside the safety of Atlantis. She asked for a team to be sent and bring him home. And that is what had been done. That was what she was waiting for.

She found her way back to her quarters for the fifth time. She checked that everything was prepared. The room next door was ready for him. Most of the items where standard issue, except for a small blanket spread out on top of the comforter. It had been her son's when he was baby. There was also a picture of Kannan on the desk. It was the only one.

She smoothed out the perfectly flat blanket again. She moved back into her room. There was a palette on the floor piled with traditional Athosian bed covering.

Her son would have his choice. She did not know how he would react to being back in Atlantis. She worried he would not remember her. He could be close, or he could be next door. She would prefer the former, but she would let him choice. Either way Petre had been assigned a room down the hall. He would be the only face her son was sure to know.

Had he been safe all these years? Had he been happy? Had there been a culling? She had absolutely no contact with anyone on the planet. Anything could have happened in five years.

She began her walking again, the way she had when he was a baby. Her feet took her to the command. John was there, standing by the control panel with his arms behind his back.

"Hey," he said in a gentle sort of way when she stopped beside him.

She smiled at him.

"Are you excited?"

She nodded and then shrugged.

"Why the shrug?"

Teyla found her voice. "What if he doesn't remember me? Or worse, what if he remembers and hates me for abandoning him?"

"He's not going to hate you. You have to stop thinking you abandoned him. You gave up everything to protect him."

"It does not really feel that way."

He pulled her into a hug. "Teyla, c'mon. You know that's not true."

She pulled away and smiled. No one had a chance to say anything else. There was a rumble and gate began to spin.

"You ready?" asked John.

Teyla held out a shaking hand in front of her in response. He gave her a one-armed hug.

A voice crackled over the speakers, "Colonel, we have the package and we are coming threw."

John tapped the button on the console. "Go ahead, Lieutenant."

* * *

><p>It was hours before Petre returned. He busted into the house, startling Torren, Jessica and the baby. He was practically dancing. He pulled Torren into a hug.<p>

"I am sorry I was angry before. All is well."

"What's happened? Was it truly Atlantis?" asked Jessica, quieting her crying daughter.

"It was most certainly was Atlantis and they are going to give us a lift home."

"What does that mean?" Torren asked. "Our home was destroyed by the Wraith."

"It is a complicated story. I will explain in a moment. We need to pack."

Jessica was just staring at them with an open mouth. "You're leaving."

He bounded over and planted a kiss on her cheek. "We are. Thank you for everything."

They returned to the small house they had been living in and gathered their few belonging. It was mostly clothes and Petre's collection of carving tools. Torren changed into the newest and cleanest his shirt he had. Then, he stood there and waited for the Petre.

He was talking quickly to himself. "The rod is broken. We are going home. The team carried a most precious message. Words that I never thought I would here. The rod is broken."

He finally stomped his foot. "What does that mean?"

"Athos was culled, but I have never told you where the survivors move. They went to Atlantis and started a new life. And we get to go back. The rob has been broken," Petre said.

"What does that mean?" repeated Torren, not really able to believe what he was being told.

"It is a special phrase that means the danger has passed. We get to go home. It is a message from your mother," Petre said and did a little dance.

"My mother? Truly?"

"Yes, my boy!" He pulled Torren into his gnarled arms again. "I hated those passages at first, but I have never been so excited at the merely thought of a place. You, my boy, have only known those passages."

Torren had a brief flash of what he now understood as a passage. A long, dim, enclosed space with doors lining either side.

"We are going home?" he asked.

"Yes, Torren, and you will see your mother. She is waiting."

Torren found he could not stand any longer. He sat down on the hard floor.

"Torren? Are you all right?" asked Petre.

He tried to answer, but started crying instead. He allowed himself less than a minute and then stood up again and wiped his tears away with a single hand. "I want to go home," he said.

Petre reached over and affectionately shook Torren's shoulder. "Then let's go home."

Then, side by side, they walked to Stargate.

The crowd was still gathered around the stargate. Only three of the four team members were standing nearby. The crowd started open mouthed as Petre marched to the platform. He reached out and shook the hand of one of them members. It was gesture Torren had never seen before.

"Torren, this is Lieutenant Carlson. He will be escorting to Atlantis and then home," said Petre with a sly smile.

The man with the dark skin looked down at Torren. "It's good to meet you, kid. There are some people who are going to be very happy to see you." He looked back Petre. "We weren't sure what we were going to find here."

"All is well as to expected. Can we get going? I do not wish to keep her waiting any longer."

"It would have nothing to do with your desire to be back in Atlantis again?"

"Of course not," said Petre with a broad smile.

"We're just waiting for Evans."

They continued talking about things and people Torren did not know or understand. He didn't know if he wanted to go or not. It had been such a long time. What if his mother did not recognize him? What if she did not like who he was? What if he wasn't strong enough?

At long last, the four team member returned. Petre put a hand on Torren's shoulder again.

"Anyone you want to say goodbye to?" quietly asked Petre.

Torren scanned the crowd and found Marcy's thin face. He gave her a small wave. She smiled back and waved back.

"I'm ready," said Torren most confidently than he felt.

The Stargate engaged with a loud rush and a flash of blue light.

Lieutenant Carlson tapped a little box attached to his uniform. "Colonel, we have the package and we are coming through."

A voice answer, "Go ahead, Lieutenant."

With Petre's hand still on his shoulder, Torren stepped towards the water-like surface.


	3. Part 3

Author's Notes: No beta, so please forgive my mistakes. Comments = love.

Disclaimer: These are not my characters, I just play with them. No copyright infringement intended.

**Part 3**

John had cleared the gate room of all but essential personnel. Teyla was grateful for the privacy. She was barely holding on. The Stargate shimmer before her as she began to descend the wide staircase.

Several figures stepped through. Teyla's breath caught in her throat. "Torren," she said in a whisper.

Slightly tall for his age, his hair and skin matched her coloring, and still very much her son in appearance. He was so much older and not simply in years. He looked around the cavernous gate room, distracted by trip through the gate. He did not appear to see her. Or perhaps he did not recognize her. Then, their eyes locked.

She felt the tears on her cheeks and lights splintered. She quickly wiped them away; she needed to see clearly. She took the last step and was level with her son, only foot or two away from each other. They were both just looking at each other.

She reached out a hand towards his cheek, but stopped just short of making contact. "I need a moment to realize that I can hold to again," she said.

Her fingers touched his skin. A sob escaped his lips.

"My sweet boy," she said.

He collapsed into her arms. She held him tightly, curved her body around his thin frame. He fit. She could feel him shaking. She did not try and stop her own tears.

She heard movement around her and the sounds of boots walking. The gate disengaged. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She looked up and did not let go. Petre smiled back at her.

"I do not know how to thank you. There will never be enough words or enough actions or enough payment. I owe you everything," she said.

"Teyla, I was an honor that you trusted me. We will talk later. I just wished to say hello."

She smiled at him. He walked away and followed John and the team. Teyla and her son had the space to themselves except for one or two people up in the control room.

"Mother?" said Torren after a long pause.

Teyla sighed blissfully. She had not realized how powerful it was to hear a single word until that moment.

"Yes, Torren?" Or how powerful it was to say a single word.

"Please, do not send me away again."

"I promise. I promise. Let me look at you."

For the first time, they broke apart. He gazed up at her. With the tips of her fingers, she traced across his forehead and down his cheek to his jaw line. She had not been able to image what he would look like. He reached up and took hold of her arm. She felt the weight of his hand.

"You have been so strong. I love you and I am so proud," she said. His lip began quivering again. She gave him another quick hug. "No more tears. We are together again."

He nodded but didn't say anything.

"Teyla?"

She looked up. John was stepped out from the entrance behind the stairs. "I don't mean to interrupt—"

"You are not. Torren, this is Colonel Sheppard. He was there the day you were born and you are named after him."

"Hey, little man, it's really good to see you again," said John with a wave.

"Hi," said Torren. He had grabbed Teyla's arm again and was practically cowering behind her.

"Do need something?" she asked.

"Not really. A team is due back in ten minutes. I didn't want you to be startled," John said.

"Okay. We will go back to my room. I will not have my radio, but come get me if there is a need."

"Absolutely not. You officially have the night off and probably the next week or two."

"I know, but just in case."

John rolled his eyes and teased, "She has to take care of everybody. You make sure that you don't let your mom go, kid."

Torren didn't say anything, but Teyla smiled in gratitude. The three figures walked together for a few paces. John took the stairs that led to the command offices. The mother and son continued down the long, narrow passage.

Teyla noticed how closely Torren stayed beside her. He was as close as he could be without touching. He was chewing on his bottom lip. They walked in silence; the only sound was the slight echo as they place each step on the floor.

She wished she could read him the way she used to be able to. She used to know if he was hungry or tired or in a good mood by just looking at him. She used to know his favorite foods and his favorite toys and his favorite stories. That was all lost now. It was clear to anyone that he was nervous, but she didn't know what to do to easy it.

"I know this is scary and confusing—" she began.

"I am fine. I can handle it," Torren said sharply.

"I know." Obviously, not the correct move.

She stopped at the transporter that would take them to their rooms. The doors automatically opened and Torren jumped. He grabbed her arm.

"Who is there?" he asked.

"No one. They are controlled by machines. They sensed us coming."

"Strange. I have never seen anything like that."

"I was scared of all the doors at first," said Teyla, hoping it would make him feel a little bit better.

He didn't answer.

Torren held tightly to her arm as she showed him how the transporter worked.

"You do not feel anything. I promise. Do you want to press it?" she asked.

"No," he answered and stared at the floor.

She tapped the screen. The doors slid closed and she continued to watch her son. He was clearly not a child anymore. He was grown up in so many ways, perhaps too grown up. He was guarded. It was not the response she had anticipated. She had expected anger, or joy, or sadness. Not this.

The doors opened again. As much as Torren tried, she could caught the look of wonder on his face when he realized they were, in fact, in a different place.

"I really—I really did not feel anything," he said.

She smiled a little to herself. He was not entirely grown up. Still side by side, they walked to their quarters. Teyla planned her words carefully. She didn't want him to stay in the room next door. She wanted him close. He was so desperate to prove he was strong. It needed to be her idea for them to share a room.

"Well, here we are." She pointed to the number on the door. 1216 was printed on a small plaque. "Remember this number."

Torren moved forward boldly, but the door did not open on its own as before. He looked up with reddening cheeks.

"For privacy, the doors to the quarters open with a code," she explained and showed him the code. He watched intently.

The door at last opened to reveal Torren's room. Normally, children were not given their own rooms. Atlantis was a full and bustling city. It had become a galactic center for scientific research. The expedition from Earth had expanded as well as the number of scientists from the Pegasus Galaxy. Teyla has asked for a favor to be relocated to a quiet section where there were more rooms available. It was temporary situation. Teyla was officially the second in command of Atlantis; when she returned to her duties, she needed to be closer to the control room.

"This will be your room, if you like," said Teyla. She opened the door to the other room. "Or we can stay together next door. I would prefer us to be together."

"If that is what you want," Torren said quickly.

Teyla would need time to get to know her son again, but she had at least figured this out. It was merely a brave façade. He was anything like her it would be hard to get underneath. She would have to patient, as she had expected.

"Good. Make yourself comfortable. This is our home. I just want to…" she trailed off as she retrieved the blanket and the photo of Kannan from the now unnecessary extra room.

She passed him in the doorway and settled on the bed. She tucked her legs beneath her as she was preparing to meditate. The personal items were in her lap. Torren just stood there awkwardly like he did know what to do. She supposed he didn't and neither did she, to be honest.

She titled her head and just watched him for a second. She had done this was he was baby. It was those moments that she allowed herself to be surprised by his very existence. She had never admitted it out loud, but she had never planned on having children. She had not wanted to risk having them grow up on their own, just another orphan of the wraith. It had never been a question of not wanting to be a mother.

When she got to hold him for the first time, she had marveled that she could love something so much. Every once and while she would catch herself wondering how the bump in her belly had become a tiny person. In this moment, she realized she was doing it again. Torren was her flesh and blood. He was no longer a far away idea, but a solid skeleton. He had come home and now that it had happened she could confess to herself that she never believed it would. So many times, she had needed to tell herself that he was better off safe and alive then in mortal danger with her.

She couldn't stand their physical distance any longer, even if it was only a few feet. "Come," she said softy and patted the bed beside her.

He rubbed his chin with the side of his hand. Teyla gasped at the motion. He looked around wildly and then tried to pretend he hadn't.

"I am sorry," she said. "I did not mean to cry out. I do that, too."

"Do what?" he asked, still concerned.

"The way you touched your face. I do that too when I am trying to make a decision. Colonel Sheppard was just teasing me about it the other day. I've had to make a lot of decisions in the past week or so."

How had he learned that? In some strange way, it eased her heart. There was still a connection.

"Come," Teyla said again. He was still in the doorway.

He took a step in the room and the door slid shut. She held out her hand. He didn't take it, but carefully removed his leather shoes before stiffly climbing onto the bed. She was at one end with her back against the headboard and he was at the other. She did not urge him closer.

Teyla looked down at the photo in her hands. "If he could only see you," she said quietly.

"What?"

"Your father. I wish he could see you."

"He died."

"Yes, he died protecting you. I know that he would be so proud of you. You are so strong and so grown up. I am so proud of you too and I am so glad that we are back together. I only wish that our entire family could be here."

She held out the picture. He moved closer and took it from her. He stared at it for a long time.

She continued. "You asked me not to send you away. I wanted to make sure you understood why I felt I had to do that."

"I understand," he said and then repeated it several times.

Teyla realized that he had probably been telling himself that he understood for years. When she last saw him, he had been too young to understand anything other than his mother was gone. As much as she trusted Petre, she had to admit that he was not very good at explaining things that were not related to fighting or history. She cupped her son's chin in her hand.

"I want you to hear it from me. You are old enough to really understand the complex and unconditional love that I feel for you. There was never a second that I stopped loving you or thinking about you. The last thing in the entire universe I wanted to have happen was to be separated from you."

He pulled away. "I know. You do not have to explain."

"Torren, I want to explain for my own sanity. I love you so much. It was the only way to protect you. You are unique to my knowledge, a small change in your genetic make up. You father and I both had the gift on sensing the wraith. Since we shared this trait, it is supposedly stronger in you. I hope you never had to find this out—"

"It is a cold feeling in your chest, like a metal ball. It makes it hard to breath."

"Oh my sweet boy," she said quietly.

"Petre and I were off-world. There was an attack by a small raiding party. The place we were living was not culled. It is the way life is."

"I am still sorry you had to experience that and that I was not there."

He plucked at the blanket.

She signed. "This trait that you have was believed to be valuable. There was a human wraith hybrid that we called Michael. He believed that this trait held to key to creating an entirely new race of being and under his control he would bring the galaxy to their knees. He was relentless. He kidnapped me while I was pregnant with you. I was rescued the day you were born. But Michael kept coming. He invaded this city and once again tried to kidnap us, but I fought back and I killed him. I will do whatever I had to do to keep you safe and I thought everything would be. Two of Michael's hybrids rose to power and they were more ruthless than any wraith. They came so close to taking you."

Teyla stopped. It was a difficult day to think about let alone explain to her child. Torren was listening intently even though he was pretending not to. He sat intensely still. His hands were folded in his lap and his knuckles were white.

"They managed to separate me from the team trying to get us out of the city. I was alone with you in my arms. I have never been so sacred. Michael had once promised me that if I came willingly he would keep us alive and together. The new leaders had no such plan. Dead or alive, it didn't matter to them. Your father found us in the last second. He saved our lives and stayed behind to protect us. He gave his life for us. Thirty others lost their lives that day repelling the hybrids' attack."

"I am sorry," he said, still looking down.

"What? Of course, this is not your fault. I never once blamed you. No one did. If anything this is my fault. There were so many points when I could have stopped Michael. There was the original research that made him the hybrid or countless times when I tried and failed to end his life."

"But all those people died because they wanted me. I killed my father."

She took his face again, but this time with a little bit more force. "Torren, this is not your fault. You have killed no one. It was the result of action of evil and diluted creatures. Those people gave their lives defending their homes and what they loved. It was not your fault."

"You sent me away so no one else would get hurt. I was the reason—"

"Atlantis stands as a beacon of hope. Those on the opposite side will always seek to destroy it. I sent you away to keep you safe. The hybrids' information was too accurate. We knew there was a traitor. As sad as all those deaths are, I only cared about you and your father. I lost your father and was not about to let anything happen to you. I sent you away so I was the only person who knew where you were, so the traitor could not find you."

She glanced at the picture in his hands. Kannan's faces looked up at them.

She kept talking. "I wish he was here, but I know he does not regret what he did." She took a deep breath. "The last thing he said to me was 'Keep him safe. I love you both.'"

She was so close to his face that she watched the tears build in his eyes.

"I never wanted to be separated from you," she said again, "I have duty as your mother and I made a promise to your father to protect you. I did that the only way I knew."

His tears spilled over. He was trying so hard to be strong, but he was still just a little boy, still just nine years old. She pulled him close, gathering his skinny body in her arms. Still just a little boy.


	4. Part 4

Disclaimer: These are not my characters, I just play with them. No copyright infringement intended.

Part 4

They stayed like that for long time. Torren felt the pressure of his mother's arms. It was he clearest memory of her. He remember being held like this and being safe. He tucked in head against her collar bone and just cried until he felt empty. The years of feeling alone and unwanted were beginning to leave him. Still, there was a small part of his mind that was glad that Petre couldn't see him. Petre would not approve of this childish behavior.

He didn't remember much after that until there was a soft kiss on his cheek. He opened his eyes. He must have fallen asleep. He was stretched out on his mother's bed.

She tucked his hair behind his ear. "You have slept for along time."

He slowly began to stir, slightly confused. "Where am I?"

"On Atlantis with me."

He opened his eyes fully. His mother was kneeling in front of him. She wore different closes and the light in the room was different. He yawned.

"Good morning," she said and kissed his cheek again.

"Good morning, Mother," he said. He loved being able to say that word.

"You have an appointment to see the doctor in a little bit."

"But I am fine. I am strong." He sat up just to prove it.

"It is standard procedure. All newcomers to Atlantis receive a medical examination. It will be little more than a simple scan. Beside, Dr. Keller is a dear friend and very kind. Do you wish to bath or change? I am not sure what your morning routine is."

"Petre has my belongings."

"I can get him to bring them here, if you would like."

Torren looked down at his clothing. It was his best shirt, clean white and no holes. His shorts were patched and fraying at the bottom. Even in his belongings, there was nothing nicer. He and Petre had not have much currency. Their house was on loan from the Elders. Petre worked odd jobs and taught personal combat, but it still wasn't a lot of money. They had what they needed, but not much more.

"This is fine. I do not have anything better."

"I know the planet where you were living had a warmer climate than here. I actually have something else, but I am not sure if it will fit."

His face brightened. He began to say he would like to try that when a small alarm sounded.

Torren jumped. "What was that?"

"The door bell. It means there is someone outside."

He nodded. There were so many things to get used to. So many machines and sounds. He never realized how simple Weldon had been. They had electricity which was more advanced than the few other planets he had been to.

She moved to the door. Torren carefully noticed how his mother waved her hand in front of the little to get the door to open. Petre stood in the passage wearing a grin and holding a tray off food and Torren's little bag.

"I did not see either of you at the mess hall last night. I guessed you might be hungry," he said.

"Thank you, Petre. Please come in," said his mother and stepped aside.

Petre entered and also waved his free hand in front of the panel to close the door. In several easy movements, he set the tray down on the desk, Torren's bag on the floor and dropped into the desk chair.

He moved differently than Torren had ever seen him. He seemed to dance from place to place. His smile came more quickly. Torren marveled at how at ease Petre was in this strange city. Petre knew what to do. These gadgets and machines were not foreign to him.

Mother settled on the edge of the bed opposite Petre and Torren leaned beside her. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to act toward the only caretaker he could truly remember.

"I spent most of the night sitting at my old table in the mess hall. Everybody know we have returned and they lined up to welcome me back. They all want to meet you too, boy," said Petre with a wink, a gesture that Torren was unfamiliar with.

"It has been too quiet in the Athosian circle without you," said Mother.

"That is good to know." He laughed.

"Would you care to share the meal with us?" asked Mother.

"No, thank you. I only wished to drop these things off. I have a meeting with out newest commander."

"Conway Lovell is a good man. He comes from IOA, like Mr. Woolsey, but he does not quite share Mr. Woolsey's affinity for the rules. Though, he does love to keep records. I believe you will get along well enough. He merely wants to meet you."

"I assumed as much. I am not worried."

Petre go up again. He turned to Torren and knelt down in front of him. He placed his hands on Torren's shoulders and Torren automatically did the same. Petre touch his forehead to Torren's.

"I love you, boy. Do not forget me. Your mother is an incredible, brave woman; do not forget that either," Petre said.

Torren suddenly pulled away, breaking the contact. "Will I not see you ever again?"

"That is not what I am saying. You are back were you belong. You do not need me anymore."

Torren looked from his mother and then back to Petre. Were they asking him to chose? He felt a connection with his mother unlike anything else. He had been empty without her. He knew that most people felt that way about their mothers, but it was different. He had seen Marcy with her mother and the other children too and it was different for him. He already felt a change in his being. He had been reaching out with his heart—or perhaps his mind—for all this time. But, Petre was all he knew. He couldn't just forget every thing Petre had done for him.

"Will you continue my training?" asked Torren.

"It is traditional for you to be taught by your caregiver so they can obverse all aspects. I am too old to do that properly and your mother is the best warrior I have ever seen," Petre said.

It was too much change all at once. He'd left the only home he knew to live with someone he didn't know and now he was being asked to say goodbye to his only friend.

"I will not do it," Torren said loudly.

He turned to leave. He took a few steps towards the door and tried to get it to open. He franticly in front of the panel he could barely reach. The door did not move.

"Let me out!" he cried.

"Torren, please," said his mother.

"Do not coddle him, Teyla," said Petre, roughly.

"I will not listen," said Torren with a stomp of his foot. "Let me out."

Petre pulled Torren away from the doorway. "This is life. Is that not what I always say? I am not saying goodbye. This is end of our chapter. I will always tried keep you safe, keep you in line, but you will listen to your mother from now on. You will train with her and be her son once again." He took Torren by the back of the neck and their foreheads touched again. "Be strong."

Then he withdrew. Torren just stood where Petre left him.

"Will he come back?"

"Of course. He is happy to be back in Atlantis with his people but the change will be just as hard on him. I asked him to be your parent and then to give you back." She moved to him and stood just behind him. He leaned against her. "I said last night that you were special and that is true in so many ways."

"Mother?"

"Yes, Torren?"

"How do I share the name of Colonel Shepard?"

"His first name is John."

"I do not understand. My name is Torren."

"Do you know your full name?"

"Is it something other then Torren Farm?"

Now, she moved around and knelt in front of him.

"You are Torren John Emmagan, named for my father the leader of the Athosians and for John Sheppard who saved our lives the day you were born. Your surname is of proud heritage. To lead the Athosians is a privilege given by our people. I do not lead because my father was a leader, but because my people trust me."

"Torren John Emmagan," he said, testing the words.

"Yes, my sweet child. I am sorry I did not tell you before. I forget there is so much you have to learn. There is much that has been intentionally kept from you for your safety."

She placed her hands on his shoulders and pressed her forehead against his.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too," he answered. He felt something at the back of his mind, a feeling that did not come from his heart. It was like a memory.

His mother straightened. "Let us eat our breakfast and then go to see Dr. Keller. We will be much later then I told her, but she will forgive me."


	5. Part 5

Author's Notes: No beta, so please forgive my mistakes. Comments = love. I messed with the timing a little bit. Torren was four when Teyla left him on that planet and it has now been five years since she last saw him. I decided seven years was too much time.

Disclaimer: These are not my characters, I just play with them. No copyright infringement intended.

Part 5

"Can I push it?"

The transporter doors slid closed. Teyla smiled.

"Of course." She pointed to the blinking dot nearest the medical center. "That one."

Torren needed to stand on tiptoe to reach the screen. There was a slight whooshing sound and the doors opened again.

This section of the city was always incredibly busy. The city rarely slept, but Teyla had never been in this area without people rushing about and myriad of noises. The medical facilities were directly in front of them, around the corner was the passage to the main scientific labs, above them was the control tower, and and above that was the jumper bay. It was the beating heart of Atlantis.

Torren shank behind her, clutching her arm. His eyes were wide.

"It is a busy city," she said.

Torren nodded.

"Come on, Dr. Keller is waiting. She came from another galaxy just to see you."

Jennifer had been at medical conference on Earth. She had come back a few days earlier to make sure that she was back in Atlantis for Torren's return. She had insisted no matter what Teyla said.

Teyla stepped forward, forcing Torren to do the same. She crossed the hallway and into the quieter medical center. They entered into a small waiting room beyond that was a curtain that lead to the facility.

Jennifer was sitting at the front desk, working on her tablet. She immediately looked up when she heard the footsteps. She gasped and then covered her mouth with her hands. She slowly got up, revealing a round pregnant belly beneath her stretched medical uniform.

"Look at you," Jennifer said. "Teyla, look at him."

Teyla smiled broadly.

"Can I hug him?" Jennifer asked Teyla, but before she could answer, Jennifer directed a question to Torren. "Can I hug you?"

To Teyla's surprise, Torren nodded. Jennifer wrapped her arms around him for a tight, but brief squeeze. She let go and took a step backwards.

"You two look so much alike. God, this is amazing. It is so good to see you, Torren. Welcome back."

"As I believed you have guessed, this is Dr. Keller," said Teyla.

"And company," added Jennifer, turning slightly sideways so her belly was more obvious.

"Hello," said Torren.

"I probably don't you remember, but you were my favorite patient. I hope that will still be true," said Jennifer with a raised eyebrow.

Torren nodded, seriously.

Jennifer laughed. "I'm teasing. This is really going to be very simple."

"Can my mother stay?" he asked.

"Of course."

She lead them behind the curtain. She gave Torren a hospital gown and showed him where to change. Then, she quickly returned to Teyla's side.

She gave her friend a big hug. "I'm so happy for you."

The two women had become like sisters over the past few years. There was no event, no joy, no concern that did not share with one another.

"Thank you. I know I told you not to bother coming back, but I am so glad you are here," said Teyla.

"Of course. It's no problem. Beside my husband don't like it when we are in different galaxies, especially now." She rubbed her belly.

"Rodney does like to worry."

"This time I agree with him."

"Families should be together," Teyla said.

Jennifer squeezed her arm. "And now you are."

"It is too big," Torren said, coming around the corner. The gown was fell below his knees and he struggled to keep it on his shoulders.

Teyla laughed. "Come here."

She helped adjust the gown and tied it in the back. It was still far too large, but at least it would stay on now. She lifted him onto the scanner table.

"Lie down. This bar," she pointed to the fat arm of the scanner, "is going to glide back in forth. There will be light but you will not feel anything. I have to step back, okay?" said Teyla.

"Okay," he said.

Teyla moved away to stand beside Jennifer, who fiddling with the controls.

"Lie very still," Jennifer said and turned on the scanner.

"So, how's he doing?" Jennifer asked quietly.

"I think overwhelmed, but I hope happy," said Teyla. "He fell asleep in my arms last night. I cannot tell you how wonderful it felt, but I guess you will know soon enough. We need time to get to know each other and he requires time to get to know the city and his own history."

"Time is all you have now. There's no rush."

"He is so serious. He has not had a chance to tell me about life on the planet, but I believe he was very happy there. I need to talk to Petre, as well. He seems very upset. I asked him to do an impossible task."

"And he did it happily. He's a good man."

"There is no man better. He kept my son safe and brought him home. I wish with every part of my being that I had not needed to do it. It changed so much."

"Like you said, all you need is time. Yes, your lives are both different then you expected, but that's the reality. You will just have to make up for lost time."

Teyla put her arm around Jennifer's shoulder and squeezed gently. "What would I do without? I know these things; I just need to be reminded."

"I just hope I can be half the mother you are."

"You are going to be a wonderful mother. I have no doubts."

"Thank you, Teyla. That means a lot." She paused. "So, how's John taking all this?"

Teyla didn't get a chance to answer when the scanner beeped. "We'll do the rest of exam as this renders, but don't think you got out of my last question," Jennifer said.

With Torren still sitting on the scanner table, she perform the rest of the exam. Heart, lungs, blood pressure, and several other things were inspected by Jennifer's confident hands. She took a blood sample and was done. The entire process took less than an hour.

He disappeared behind the curtain again to change and Jennifer looked over the scan. Teyla folded her arms nervously across her chest.

"He's perfectly healthy," Jennifer concluded.

Teyla sighed in relief.

"But, there are a few old injuries. Healed broken bones in his hands, fingers mostly, and dislocated shoulder."

"From Bantos training?" asked Teyla, concerned once again.

"That doesn't quite make up for it since he's only been doing it for a year or two. This fracture," she zoomed the image in close to one of Torren's hands, "is known as Boxer's fracture on Earth. It happens when someone punches a hard surface like a wall or someone's skull."

"Fighting."

"That's what I would guess. Boys will be boys. I wouldn't read too much into this."

"Petre would never have allowed any fighting outside of training."

"You would know that better than me."

"I will talk to him. Thanks, Jennifer."

"Of course."

Torren appeared again, dressed once again.

"Would you like to take a trip to the mess hall, Torren?" Teyla asked.

"I am not hungry."

"I didn't really expect you would be. However, it is the normal lunch time and there will be a lot of people there."

"I do not—"

Teyla interrupted him. "I know you would rather stay here were they are not many people, but this is inevitable. Everyone is anxious to meet you. I was thinking we could spend a little time in a central place and let people come say hello."

"Mother, please, I do not like all the people."

Teyla knew what he meant. The fighting, his reluctance to be near a crowd, it was all part of being an outsider. She guessed that he had spent most of his life on that planet trying to be invisible, trying to disappear. He had no idea how to be the center of attention.

"I know," Teyla said. She didn't know what else to say. It would be better to get it over with quickly, this reintroduction.

"How 'bout this?" said Jennifer. "What if I came along too? The baby bump tends to distract a lot of people. It might help."

It took a few more minutes of cajoling and a promise that they would only stay for an hour before Torren agreed resolutely.

They three figures walked to the mess in silence. As they began to hear voices and the clatter of dishes and utensils, Torren took hold of Teyla's arm. Two cupped hands wrapped around her forearm.

They were stopped before they even entered the mess hall. Torren hid behind his mother and said little more than hello. Then another person and then another. At last they made it into the spacious room.

She tried to avoid making eye contact and be waked over to anyone's table. She marched to an empty table that stuck out from the wall. Teyla angled a chair so she could see the entire hall. Jennifer when and collected a tray of food before taking the seat on the opposite side of the table. Torren stood next to Teyla, leaning against her. She slid an arm around his waist and squeezed gently. None of them could make it through a few bite of the snack before someone approach that table. It was a steady stream of people coming to greet them as if Torren was a price.

He did not return their smiles and he barely answered their questions. It was stressful for even Teyla. She very quickly decided they would stay half the time she had originally said, but that still seemed a very long time.

Relief came in the form of Rodney. He stopped at an awkward distance from the table. He and Torren made wary eye contact. Rodney fiddled with his hands. "So, your Teyla's son."

"Yes," said Torren.

"You've gotten big," said Rodney without any wonder as if he was just informing the room that children grow up.

Jennifer rolled her eyes.

"Torren, this is Jennifer's husband, Dr. McKay," said Teyla.

"You can call me Rodney," said Rodney.

Torren spoke up for the first time on his own. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too. Are you any good at science?" asked Rodney.

"What are you talking about?" said Jennifer with a laugh.

"Not the kind of science you have here. I was okay in school," Torren said with a shrug.

"Hmm," was Rodney's only response.

"Why?" said Torren.

"I gave your mother these recording of my work when she was pregnant with you. She was supposed to hold them against her stomach and theoretically help your developing brain."

"I don't think they worked."

They stared each other down for another moment. Then, Rodney laughed. Torren smiled. Jennifer and Teyla gave each other a confused look, although she had to admit it was good to see her son smiling.

"Rodney, sit down," ordered Jennifer.

He complied. Jennifer inched her chair closer and leaned toward him. He didn't say anything else but continued to stare at Torren, but for some reason her son didn't seem timid. He stared boldly back.

"Do you like Atlantis?" asked Rodney.

"It's a lot different then I was expecting."

"A lot to get used to."

Torren nodded.

Rodney spoke again, but directed it to Teyla. "Conway wants to talk to you. He send me to find you. I tried to tell point out that it wasn't my job and he should find some grunt—"

That earned him a slap on the arms from Jennifer. Teyla was used to this behavior from them, but Torren looked worried.

"They are just playing," said Teyla.

"I have to remind him to be person sometimes," said Jennifer. "It doesn't hurt."

"Speak for yourself," mumbled Rodney.

Teyla interrupted, "Okay, that is enough. I suppose we should go speak to Conway."

She rose from the table, Torren still by her side. They marched from the mess hall and she was keenly aware of the eyes that flowed them.


	6. Part 6

Title: Hidden

Spoils: All Episodes are fair game

Author's Notes: No beta, so please forgive my mistakes. Comments = love. Sorry this is about a week late, it's the end of the school year. I've been busy. And BMick, you're probably right, but it's my story, so there. *wink* I'm kidding.

Disclaimer: These are not my characters, I just play with them. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

><p>Part 6<p>

Torren followed his mother back through the maze of Atlantis. She walked with confidence. She knew this place so well and he was already worried he would never learn. He stayed close. At least the people in the passages did stare. They didn't stop and tell him how glad they were to see him again even though he had no memory of them or this place.

They rode a transporter up several levels and walked up a short staircase. They crossed through a room above the gate with big desks with many buttons, then over a short walkway. Mother knocked on a glass door and pushed it open.

The man sitting behind the desk in the glass office got to his feet. He was a big, powerful man but moved slowly. Torren thought Petre would have been like this many years ago. Conway had dark skin, like one of the team member who had come to Weldon. Conway was a serious man; Torren could read it in his face. He was very much like Petre.

"Oh Teyla, come in," the man said.

"Conway, this is my son," said Mother and she placed a hand on Torren's shoulder. He stood up a little straighter.

"Hello, Torren," said Conway in a deep tone.

He held out a hand which dwarfed Torren's as he shook it.

"Hello, sir," said Torren, addressing the commander of the base the way he spoke to the headmaster at school.

"It's good to finally have you here. Your mother tried to hide it, but she was very worried about you. I'm glad to see you two back together again."

"Yes, sir."

"I'm Mr. Lovell, the commander of Atlantis."

"I know, sir."

"Good. I was wondering if we could have a little talk," his eyes flicked away from Torren to his mother, "In private. Man to man."

Torren liked being called a man, but his mother's hand tightened.

"Conway, I do not wish—" his mother began.

Mr. Lovell held up a hand; it didn't silence his mother.

"I have told you not to do that," she said sharply.

"Teyla, I'm sorry. There are things that will be easier to discuss without you listening in."

"My son is nine years old. It has been less then a day since we have come back together. I do not like the idea of us having secrets."

"I'm more concerned about interruptions. I'm not going to ask to keep any secrets."

His mother signed heavily.

"Mother, I will tell you everything afterwards," said Torren.

Mr. Lovell laughed. "I appreciate your honestly."

"Did I do something wrong?" asked Torren.

"No, darling," said his mother. "You said exactly the right thing."

"It'll be ten minutes at the most," said Mr. Lovell.

"I shall hold you to that," said Mother.

"I know you will," Mr. Lovell said quickly.

His mother bent at the waist so her face was level with Torren's. She pointed through the glass wall and across the gate room. "I will right there. You will be able to see me."

"I am fine," he said.

"I know you are," she said and kissed him on the cheek.

She walked from the room without looking back. Torren watched his mother leave. The feeling was creeping back into his chest. He felt her absence, like a part of himself was leaving too.

He realized Mr. Lovell was speaking to him.

"What?"

Mr. Lovell's eyebrows pulled closer together. "Torren, would you please sit down?"

"Yes, sir."

Torren climbed into one of the two rounded armchairs in front of Mr. Lovell's desk. His feet didn't reach the floor. Mr. Lovell perched on the edge of desk and leaned forward.

"You look a lot like your mom," said Mr. Lovell.

"Yes, sir." Torren had lost count of number of time he had been told that in the past day.

"I didn't know your father, but I do know what he did for you and your mother. He was the best kind of man. I've worked with your mother for the better part of two years and I know she's an incredible person. She's a giver. I'm telling you all this because I know you've got a good head on your shoulders. I'm going to ask you a few questions and I want some honest answers."

"Yes, sir."

"This is called a debriefing. I do this every time a team comes back from off-world. If you were on a team—"

"Could I do that?"

Mr. Lovell looked down at Torren and his eyebrows pulled together again. "Someday. Maybe when you're older if your mother approves. We'll talk about it again in ten years, if Atlantis is still here." He got back to his feet and moved around the desk to his high-backed chair. "So, you were living in Weldon?"

"Yes, sir."

"What's it like? Technology level?"

Torren hesitated. It felt wrong to be talking about his life on Weldon to this stranger. He hadn't even told his mother. She wanted to hear about it; he knew she did. Why hadn't Mr. Lovell let her stay? He wanted to find his mother, but that meant looking behind him.

Torren finally answered the question. "Weldon is nothing like Atlantis. There was electricity. Most of the machines were used for farming. Our neighbor had an image player. It is this box that gets moving pictures transmitted from the capital. I am not sure how it worked."

Mr. Lovell held up a hand. "We have those. We call them televisions. I'm not interested in entertainment. Weapons, I want to know about weapons."

"I do not know about weapons, sir. Petre was just beginning my Bantos training."

"Think carefully. This is a society living under constant threat. How do they protect themselves?"

"Most of the farmers have barrel guns. There are mostly used for the forest predators. I guess they could be used against the wraith. But it was pakea, there were less worries."

"The what? What's pakea?"

"It is peace time. The wraith had already come. No one expected them to come again for many years."

Torren didn't like these questions. He felt like he had done something wrong. He glanced behind him in the direction his mother had gone. It was a quick look and he couldn't find her.

"And what about Atlantis?" continued Mr. Lovell.

"Sir? I don't understand."

"Who did you tell about Atlantis?"

"No one, sir."

"I want to you think carefully again."

"I did not remember Atlantis. I did not know I came from this place."

Mr. Lovell made a noise like he didn't believe Torren. "You've never mentioned this base to anyone?"

"The other children talked about it all the time. They wanted a team to come. Everyone wanted a team to come."

"And you didn't participate in these conversations?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I do not want to talk about this anymore. Where is my mother?"

"We're not done yet, son."

"I am not your son."

"I know that. It's just a saying. I'm asking you important questions here. Who did you tell about Atlantis?"

"No one! I had no one to tell. I have had no one to talk to apart from Petre and would not have tolerated my dreams. I had no friends. I was alone." Torren was upset. He just wanted his mother. It was the thought he had been fighting against and now he has said the words out loud.

"That is enough."

Torren did not need to turn around. He knew she would be there before he had heard the door open. He pulled himself out of the chair and into his mother's outstretched arms.

"Teyla, we are not finished," said Mr. Lovell.

"Yes, you are. He is a child in an unfamiliar place and you are a bully."

For once, Torren didn't argue about being called a child.

Mr. Lovell rose from his seat. "I need to know anything and everything that he revealed. You're not going to like this, but I don't think my processor handled this situation in the best way."

"Torren is not a situation and no one approved my decision. I did what I had to for my son," she said.

Torren liked the way she 'my son.'

"And in doing so, you exposed sensitive information about the safety of this base," said Mr. Lovell.

"He was four years old. What did he know besides its existence?"

"You don't what children see."

"I know what he sees."

"Really?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

She looked down at Torren. "Did you tell anyone, even Petre about Atlantis?"

"No. I did not know my memories were of Atlantis. I barely remembered your face." Torren said and buried his face in her side.

"He tells the truth," said his mother.

"How could you possibly know that? Mother's intuition?" Mr. Lovell said.

"Do not mock me," she said sharply. "The truth is I share a connection with my son beyond anything else. This gift we have, the one that Michael coveted, binds us. We are in tune. We sensed each other when he was still inside me. I do not read his mind. I just know. I did not entirely believe it until now, but I believe I read his emotions and he reads mine, like sides of a coin. The one side does not effect other, but it is always there."

Torren knew what she said was true. The empty feeling was not because he missed her, but because she was physically absent. He had never known a moment when he hadn't had the ability to sense her feelings. Torren let himself understand what he was feeling for the first time. He sensed his mother's strength, her love, and her defiance.

He stepped out from behind her. He squared his shoulders. "She is also telling the truth."

Mr. Lovell looked stocked. His mouth was slightly open. He looked back and forth between mother and son. He sighed. "Fine. You win."

"It is not a competition. I once again comes down to me doing taking care of my son. I have not been able to do that for many years. Please, do not be another force against us."

Mr. Lovell plopped into his chair again. "That was never my intention. Teyla, you know that."

She smiled at him and inclined her head. "I do. Are we finished?"

"Yes, yes, go ahead," he said and waved his hand.

"Thank you, Conway."

Mr. Lovell shook his head, but smiled vaguely.

Torren would normally have said something polite before leaving, but he didn't need to sense his mother's feelings to know she wanted to leave quickly. He nodded to Mr. Lovell before following his mother from the office.

They walked quickly through the busy center of the base and back to the transporter. When the doors opened again, they were back into the quiet corridor where their quarters were located. Mother slowed her pace.

"I am sorry that was difficult," she said. "Mr. Lovell is a good commander, but a little paranoid and perhaps not entire comfortable around children."

"You were there. I was fine," said Torren.

"You handled yourself well."

"I really do know what you were talking about. I felt you being gone, like something was missing."

"I know what you mean too." She put her arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. "Neither of us will ever have to experience that again."


	7. Part 7

Author's Notes: Okay, now I can add the 'I'm so sorry for the delay.' I was doing so well, too. The end of the school year is always crazy. Thanks for sticking with me.

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><p>Part 7<p>

Together mother and son kept walking. Neither slowed as they neared their quarters. Neither felt the need to speak. There was just a comfortable silence. A new understanding was passing between them. Teyla was adjusting to the idea of having her son back and now she had to adjust to this extraordinary ability.

She had never put into words this sense she had when her son was nearby. It had begun when she was still with child. Certain abilities had been heightened. She had been able to fly a wraith ship with almost no difficulty when he had been only a few months pregnant.

Then after Torren was born, she had always known whether his crying meant he was hungry or needed to be changed or just wanted to be held. She had told herself she had just learned. Kannan had always said their son was especially close to his mother. She was the only one who could get him to sleep and if Torren was just fusing, he would stop as soon as she entered the room.

She told herself it was normal. Then, they were forced apart and she was painfully aware that the hollowness in her chest was beyond what most mothers experienced. She didn't mean to belittle the separation of mother and child, but she did not worry about her son, wish they were together, she felt the absence. And the moment she was able to hold him again, the feeling was gone, the hole filled in.

Still, she didn't believe it was anything special until Torren felt threaten. He was scared and he wanted her and she knew it. She felt it. She had been on the other side of the gateroom, intentionally trying not to look in the direction of Conway's office. She felt his panic and recognized it as not her own.

They kept walking with no destination in mind. It's what she had done late at night when Torren refused to sleep even for her. He'd been so happy then. Just a funny little boy who asked so many questions, and was so happy to try anything and be with anyone. John had told her about an Earth saying that went like 'it takes a village to raise a child.' There were only a handful of child on the base, so everyone knew who her son was. He was always willing to give out a hug or at least a smile. How things change.

They reached a dead end.

"Should we go back?" asked Torren.

"No, this is one of my favorite places in the city."

Her feet had taken them here without her noticing. The window at the end of the hallway was actually a door that lead to a balcony. There were countless balconies such as this one, but Teyla had concluded that it had the best view. It was just past midday and the sight was the most spectacular at night, but there was still plenty to see.

She stepped out with Torren close behind her. There was a shallow lip that widen below three or four steps and beyond the railing was the entirety of Atlantis. All the towers, the spires, all the windows winked in the sunshine.

"I have never seen anything so huge," he said.

Torren was staring, open mouthed. Teyla like the look on his face. It was the same look when they had first encountered the transporter the day before. It was pure wonder; it was childlike. It was a glimpse at the little boy she was forced to leave behind.

"It is beautiful, is it not?"

"Very."

"It seems overwhelming, but you will learn. Like many things, it will only take time."

"I know."

She sat down on the top step and stuck her feet out in front of her. She leaned back on the palms of her hands. She closed her eyes and tilted her head towards the sunshine. It took a moment, but her son joined her. He sat closely. She felt his nervousness.

Teyla opened her eyes, but didn't look at him. She scanned the city. "I'm listening."

He squirmed. She didn't pressure him. She didn't ask questions. She hoped that he could feel her openness. She was not passing judgment. She knew he had done what he needed to make it through.

"I spent a lot of time alone. Or with Petre. I did not really have any friends. They all knew I was different. I had one friend, Marcy. She was nice to me. Sometimes she would invite me to play. Her older brother did not like me. He was always trying to make me mad."

"The fighting?"

"How did you know?"

"Dr. Keller's machine. Your hand was broken."

Torren nodded. "I liked it best when Petre took me out into the woods. That is where he taught me my Athosian history. How to track and hunt and things like that. I could be myself then. I am very good at climbing trees. Did you know that? Petre said he had never seen anyone better."

They talked like this for a long time. The sun sank behind the main tower. Torren confirmed mostly what she had already guessed. The boy she had know had been buried in order to survive the loneliness. He fought only when he needed to protect himself. Petre had done his best, but he couldn't replace a mother, playmate, and an entire base.

She then told him of her life in Atlantis, of some of her off-world missions, of her duties as second in command.

When at last she stopped talking, another comfortable silence fell. She tucked her legs closer to her body. He dropped his head on her knees. She sighed in a contented kind of way. It was only place she wanted to be.

He finally sat up. "I want to show my Bantos training. Petre says I'm as good as you were when you were a child."

Teyla laughed. "Petre would know. He was one of my Matrica, my masters. I trained with him after my father, your grandfather was taken. I was placed in his ryhma, or training class."

"He never told me that. He did not speak of you or home very often except in my history lessons. I was surprised when he told me I matched your skill level."

"Ah, we will see about that," she said and nudged him playfully.

He smiled.

She got to her feet and held out a hand. Torren took it and she pulled him up. Once again, they ventured back into the bustling section of city.

It was close to meal time and the gym was at its busiest. Most of the people had a break for dinner and took the time for a quick work out. Torren took hold of her arm but he kept his head up. The sounds of voices and sparring matches dulled. Teyla noticed that most of the others were pretending not to watch.

They set up at one smaller mats off to the side. Mother and son stood facing each other and began the warm up. Teyla called out the name of the positions and in a fluid motion shifted into the stance. They were mirror images, when one moved was other already imitating. As they progressed through the final positions, they moved began to circle and stopped, standing side by side.

She passed a pair of small Bantos rods to Torren and picked up her own. She folded them across her chest and bend low. He did the same except he reached upward. There foreheads touched.

They squared off again as a small crowd gathered. The rods clashed. It was still just positions, motives that he knew were coming. Torren was true to his word; he had strength and talent.

He didn't make a single mistake. They moved slowly, but he did every move perfectly. He must have been working very hard to achieve have such a mastery of the positions. It had taken months to finally learn two combine the positions. Now, they motions, especially these low level ones, were in gained in her muscle memory.

Perhaps there was something more to her son's remarkable talent. She didn't want to belittle it, but their newly named connect could be giving him an advantage.

They finished the set. They were both out of breath. She could feel the beads of sweat across her skin.

"Torren, that was beautiful," Teyla said.

"I have done it so well. I did not make a single mistake." He smiled broadly but very quickly read his mother's face. "It was not all me, was it?"

"I do not know."

Teyla looked around the gym. She spotted Jinto, Halling's son. He was not a boy anymore. He worked with one of the teams and was very quickly equally his father as a leader in their community.

Teyla called him over. "Jinto, I would like you to meet my son."

"Torren, I have not seen you since you could fit into your mother's arms. I am glad to see again," he said.

"It is nice to meet you," answered Torren, staring up at Jinto with wide eyes.

"Do you still remember first form?" asked Teyla.

"There are some things I will never forget," Jinto said with a laugh.

"Would you mind running through it with Torren?"

"But you were doing so well."

"Perhaps too well."

"I do not understand."

"I will explain if depending on the outcome of this experiment."

"As you wish."

Jinto took a step back and squared off. Once again, the banging of the robs rang out. Teyla moved away and picked up a towel from a pile. She lean against one of pillars, watching.

Torren was still doing well. He still hadn't made any mistakes. She tried not to think about what position was coming next. She wanted her mind to be blank. Someone approached her from behind. He brushed her hair over her shoulder and kissed her neck.

She pulled away but gently. "John, please."

"C'mon. No one is paying any attention," said John onto her ear.

"Please, I have asked."

"But I still don't understand. I know you have to put your kid first, but I'm not trying to take you away from him."

She turned around to face him. "I need some time, some space. I do not want any distractions."

"Is that all I am? A distraction."

"I am not the only one who has shied away from defining our relationship."

She stared into his green eye and challenged him to deny it. They tried to pretend that what they were doing was casual, but in truth it was guarded. They both held back because they both knew that it could be something great. And that scared them.

She loved him and she had for a long time, but she hardly allowed herself to acknowledge it. She had lost so much in her life. Her mother, her father, the list went on and on until she joined the Atlantis mission. There had been a time of relative peace She had once envisioned an uncomplicated relationship with John, like a little girl with a crush. One thing after another had piled up and the timing never seemed to be right. Then, she had a family of her own. Torren, Kannan, and she felt complete. It was all taken away. She had denied herself any type of happiness.

John's own tangled history mapped out strangely like hers. The death of family, friends in battle. He lost a lover not to fighting, but to time and distance. He was just as wary of loss.

"Teyla, when things settle down I want us to talk. We've been avoid it for almost a year."

She knew her face had softened. She could see it in his face. She connection with her son might be heighten to an incredible degree, but she had always been able to read the people she loved.

A yelp from Torren brought every fiber of Teyla's focus back to him. She spun back around and rushed to him. He was sprawl out on the mat and struggling to get up. Jinto knelt beside him.

"Teyla, I am so sorry. It was my mistake. I was moving too quickly," said Jinto, his voice filled with guilt.

"It is part of the training," said Torren before she could answer. "Petre hits harder. I am fine." He had been saying those words a lot lately.

Teyla reach down and helped her son up. He stood up straight in front of her. She brushed his hair away from his forehead and ran the back of her fingers down his cheek.

"Again," she said.

Jinto hesitated, looking from Teyla to Torren.

"It is part of the training," said Teyla firmly. "He is unharmed."

Torren was already in fighting stance. Jinto nodded and they became again. Teyla moved back again. She intentional stood in a different place then before. She looked across the room and caught John's eye. She smiled in a look that she hope said 'Please, be patient.' He smiled back and disappeared. Teyla shifted her focus back to her son.

She watched Jinto and Torren run through first form. Torren was only mildly influenced by his connection with Teyla. He was still very skilled. She let Jinto go and continued to work with Torren. They continued practicing much longer then any normal session.

It caused her stomach to do a strange little flip every time she met resistance. To see him like this, a strong, capable boy. He wasn't a baby anymore. He stood tall despite everything he had been through. She wished she could feel like she could take credit.

Finally, they were both on the brink of exhaustion. They finally left the gym slightly bruised and happy. Teyla felt her own peace and the feeling echoed from her son. She was allowing she believe that everything was going to be okay. She had her son back. He was well and they were connecting. She would need to figure out how she felt about John, but it would work itself out.

Torren took hold of her forearm, interrupting her thoughts.

"I am hungry," he said.

"I bet you are. I am starving as well."

"I do not want to go to the dinning hall. I do not like the parade."

She checked her watch. It was nearly eight o'clock. "The dinner rush will be long over. I do not think many people will be there."

They were already moving towards the transporter. The dining hall was nearly empty. Dinner had already been put away, but they found sandwiches that were left out twenty-four hours a day to accommodate the strange schedules of many of the scientists and other personnel.

Each gathered a packaged sandwich and some fruit and sat down at the same table as earlier that day. They eat quickly and talked very little. Torren seemed exhausted. As soon as they finished eating, they started back towards their quarters and bed.


	8. Part 8

Author's Notes: No beta, so please forgive my mistakes. Sorry for the delay. Comments = love.

Part 8

Torren hung onto his mother's arm as they walked through the corridor. He yawned again. The base was enormous. It still felt like they had a long way to go to get back to their quarters from the mess hall. All he wanted was his bed. Well, really any bed would do. His bed was on another planet on other end of galaxy. Atlantis was not home, not yet anyway. He was back with his mother and that felt absolutely right, but he didn't know this place or most of the people surrounding him.

"Did you have a good day?" asked Mother. "I know there were a few, well, rough patches."

"Yes, I think so. It ended well at least." He paused. "Mother?"

"Yes, Torren?"

"I do not like be the center of attention. I liked it better when we were working together in the gym and no one paid any attention to me," he said and he felt his cheeks getting hot. He was embarrassed. He wished he could handle it.

"I know. I would feel the same way if I were in your place. You have been thrown into the water, but you swimming beautifully."

"I don't understand." He yawned again.

"Because of my position and our unique circumstances, most people here know who we were. There is no way for this transition to be something quiet. There was no way to slip you back onto the base without everyone noticing. I wish there was a better way, but you are handling better than I would. I am proud."

He didn't feel like he was handling it. He could learn about the base. He could study maps of the city and figure out how to work all the machines, but he didn't know if he'd ever stop feeling like an outsider. He didn't know where he belonged. He was meant to be with his mother and he felt that, but Atlantis was her place.

There were a few people that he like already. Dr. Keller and Rodney, and Jinto, he liked them. He guessed it might have feeling something from his mother or maybe even long forgotten memories, but he already knew he could trust these people. Mr. Lovell was definitely someone he didn't like and didn't know how to feel about Sheppard. There was something different about him.

They reached the transporter. As usual, the doors opened but instead of the empty space behind them, Sheppard stepped out. He nearly walked into them.

"Oh, just the person I was looking for," he said once he'd managed to avoid them.

"Hello, John," said Mother.

Torren didn't say anything. He had that strange feeling again. He shifted from one foot to the other and pulled at his mother a little. He didn't want to stop and have a conversation. He wanted to be back in his quarters.

"Ronon called for a report. He'll be coming back to Atlantis tomorrow or the next day to resupply," said Sheppard.

Mother seemed happy at this news, but Torren paid little attention to what else was being said. He pulled on his mother again. She pulled her arm out of his grasp. It was a gentle gesture, but in Torren's mind it felt like a slap. Why was she pulling away?

It must have something to do with the emotion he couldn't identify. He was so aware of his connection with his mother because it was so new. Every little change was magnified. But there was one feeling that had hardly wavered. He knew that her attention had been intensely focused on himself, except when John Sheppard was talking to her. It's what distracted him when he was training with Jinto. It was like a light shining on him and then it suddenly being turned off. And there was still that feeling he didn't understand.

He stared up at Sheppard who was still talking about the arrive of yet another new person who be excited to meet Torren. Sheppard was dressed in a black uniform with patches on the sleeves and big black boots. He was a fighter, a warrior. He knew he owe his life to his man. He didn't know the details, but Sheppard had save him and Mother when Torren was only one day old.

There was a break in the conversation and Sheppard bent down so he was eye level with Torren. He felt his mother's attention snap back to him.

"I saw you at the gym earlier," said Sheppard.

"I know. I saw you," said Torren.

"You were pretty good. Way better than me. Your mom tried to teach me a few years ago. I'll stick to my gun." He patted something attached to his waist in a holster and smiled.

Torren didn't know what to say. He kept staring at the floor.

Sheppard straightened up again. "Okay then." He looked back to Mother. "I just wanted to pass long the message. Ronon was not happy that you didn't tell him Torren was coming back to Atlantis."

"It was a need to know mission as far as I was concerned," said Mother. "I could not control the people at that training camp of his."

"I told him as much and I don't think he was really upset. He's upset the way he's still upset you didn't name your son after him."

His mother laughed. "Good night, John. We are both exhausted."

"I can imagine. Good night, you two." He reached over, ran his hand down her arm, and then walked away.

There was a moment of that emotion again. It was brief and he felt it in his gut. He looked up at his mother. She was watching him go.

"Are you ready, kiddo?" she said.

"What is that word?"

"You know I am not entirely sure. It is a term of endearment. I have heard other people use it with their children."

"I kind of like it."

She bent down and kissed him on the cheek. They finally walked back to their quarters. Mother showed him to the washroom. It was a down the hall from their room. She explained how to use all the nobs. She adjusted the water to comfortable temperature.

"You just stand underneath the water and when you're finished push the nob again. This is for your hair and this is for your body," she said, pointing to a couple of bottles filled with soap. "Then, dry off and come back to the our room. Is that okay?"

"Yes. It is strange though."

"I know. When we get into a routine, we will move back to my regular quarters, closer to command. We will have my our washroom and not have to walk down the hall."

"No, I mean the way the water comes from the ceiling. We had water basin in the kitchen, but Petre and I had a tub."

"The towel and clear sleepwear is here." She gestured towards a small shelf with a stack of nearly folded linen. "I will give you some privacy."

He nodded and she left. He stood in the middle of the room as it filled with steam from the hot water. It was the first time he had been alone in two days. He tried to remember how it felt before coming back to Atlantis.

It had been an ache, a physical pain. It was different now. It was not the empty feeling in his chest. It was like something was reaching out. He was still looking for the other side of the connection but it was no where near as strong. Perhaps it was because his mind knew she was just down the hall.

He finally undressed and stepped under the water stream. When he was finished, he put on the clothes his mother had left. He stopped in front of a long mirror. Torren couldn't remember the last time he had seen himself in a full length mirror. Petre had owned a small, round mirror he used for shaving, but that was only large enough to show his face.

Torren saw himself in full view and most of the room behind him. He wouldn't have recognized himself if he hadn't been alone. He looked himself squarely in the eye. He had this strange feeling of being entirely transplanted, as if only the background had moved.

And the these clothes were so unusual. They weren't like the clothing his mother had been wearing, but they were more like the clothing the Earth people wore. On Weldon, most people wore a uniform of white and black. The coarse fibers used for making clothes were white and could be colored black with dye made from the flower of the planet's main export crop.

The shirt he wore now was a light grey with words printed on the front. He didn't recognize the material. It was thin and very soft. He read U.S. Air Force backwards in the mirror. He wondered vaguely what U.S. stood for. And the pants were a dark blue and so soft and kind of fuzzy with a string to tie around his waist.

He took a deep breath. He watched his own chest rise and fall. He gathered the dirty clothes and folded them neatly. He took the towel and did the same thing. He picked up the little stack and padded down hallway in his bare feet.

He walked slowly and waited for the moment when he felt the connection with his mother come back. It clicked and he involuntarily signed. The door was open. His mother was sitting on the bed with her legs folded and her eyes closed.

"All ready for bed?" she asked without opening her eyes.

"You felt me coming." he said.

She opened her eyes. "I did. It is pretty cool, huh?"

"How is that cool?"

"It is another Earth saying."

"Oh. Where should I put these?" He held up the pile.

She slid off the bed. "I will take it."

His mother pulled on a handle and a panel opened. She dumped the armful inside.

"We will take it to the laundry in a few days," she said. "Is there anything else you need?"

"Nope."

She sat down on the floor beside the pallet. Torren wriggled underneath the covers. He looked up at her. He had a mother. She brushed his hair away from his forehead.

"I love you. I love you. I love you," she said in a kind of sing-song voice.

"I love you, too."

"I have been waiting so long to say that. I love you. I love you. I love you." She bend down and kissed him on the cheek, the forehead and then the other cheek after each time she said it.

Torren smiled. "I love you too."

"I love you. I love you." She squeezed his belly and tickled him up and down his ribs.

He laughed and squirm away.

"That is a beautiful sound," she said.

"What?" he asked, still laughing a little.

"Never mind. Are you sure you do not need anything?"

"Yes, I am sure, Mother."

"In that case, would you by alright if I went to use the washroom? I will wait until you fall asleep and I will only be a few minutes."

"I do not mind."

"Are you sure?"

"I am sure."

"Then good night, my sweet boy."

"Good night."

She ran her fingers through his hair a few more times and kissed him on the cheek one more time. "I love you," she said gently.

"I love you, too."

She got up and flipped off the light. The small lamp by her bed stayed on. She again settled on the bed with her tablet on her lap. Torren just watched her. She sat very still, only her eyes flicked back and forth. His eyes began to get heavy.


	9. Part 9

Author's Notes: No beta, so please forgive my mistakes. Comments = love. There's just one little epilogue and we're all finished! Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: These are not my characters, I just play with them. No copyright infringement intended.

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><p>Part 9<p>

There was laugher. Teyla opened her eyes. The room was dark; the furniture was just shadowy outlines. She couldn't have been asleep for more then a few hours. She sighed heavily and rolled over. She hated the nights. The heaviness in her heart was nearly unbearable. In the daylight, she could keep herself busy, distracted. At night, it was just the darkness and feeling of loss.

She had dreamed that the empty feeling that been gone. She had held her son. Then she opened her eyes. The dream had ended. She pulled the covers up over her face. It's something she had done since she was little. Hide away from everything. Tonight would be a good night. No tears burned in her eyes. It had been a sweet dream.

Her eyes flew open. It wasn't a dream.

She sat up, untangling herself from her sheet. The mattress and nest of blankets beside her bed was empty. She had been living with the emptiness for so long that in that small space between waking and sleeping she had forgotten the nightmare was over.

"Torren?" she called out quietly.

No answer.

"Torren?" she said louder.

There was no where to hide in the tiny room. She swung her feet over the edge of the bed and her feet landed on the cold floor. She was more awake now. Her eyes scan every corner. She was alone.

Only then did she the panic begin to set in. Teyla prided herself on her ability to stay calm. She was the voice of reason, the clear head in a crisis. It was radically different with her child. Her emotions, which became her actions, were so heightened. She just wanted her son to be safe. She couldn't lost him again. She had only just got him back. She couldn't. She tried a deep breath as if she were beginning meditation. It only helped long enough to realize that he may have gone to the washroom.

She waved her hand in front of the door and stepped out into the hallway. The lights flicked on at the motion. She blinked frantically until her eyes adjusted. No one had been moving the passage way for at least twenty-five minutes. The sensors automatically turned the lights off after exactly that amount of time. There had been a great debate over what the time limit should be. It seemed utterly ridiculous now.

She passed closed door after closed door until she reached the washroom at the end of the hall. The lights were off. She took a single step inside the door and the light inside also turned on.

She called out her son's name again and still got no response. The room was empty. She was alone. Every frightening thought she had tried to keep walled up for the past five years came crashing down. Was he scared? Hurt? Alive? Dead? Had she been too hasty? Had she brought him back and led him into the arms of another traitor? They were the thoughts that kept her stomach in knots.

"Dear ancestor, keep him safe," she whispered.

She had little belief left from the faith lesson her father had taught her when she was a child. Too many bad things had happened in her life—she had seen too many bad things happen to other people—to believe that there was a higher power watching over her, but in times like this she clung onto anything.

She had to do something. She finally found the ability to move. She dashed to Petre's room and banged on it, not bothering with the delicate chime. She was reaching out for help, but it occurred to her that Torren maybe inside. Perhaps Torren had awoke and retreated to the only person to the only person he really knew.

The door opened. Petre stood, bare chested with tousled hair, blinking in the light.

"Is he here?" she said, strangely out of breath.

Petre was clearly not fully awake. "Teyla, I do not know what you are referring to."

"My son. I woke up and he was gone."

Petre's entire body snapped to attention. "He is probably went to the washroom."

"I checked. He is not there. I am radioing John. What if—"

"Do not say another word. He has probably just wandered off. I am sure he is fine."

"Has he done this before? Wandered off?"

He looked at her for a moment. "Not in the middle of the night."

"I am calling John."

She hurried back on her own room with Petre right behind her. She fumbled in a desk drawer until she found the tiny radio.

"John? Are you awake?" she said into the ear piece.

"I am sure Torren is fine. We should not panic," said Petre in the other ear.

"Colonel Shepard, please?"

"I am sure he is fine."

Teyla looked up sharply. Petre's words did not match the worry on his face.

"John, please, I need you."

"Teyla?" said John's groggy voice.

"Torren is missing. I just woke up and he was gone."

"Meet me in command."

Like Petre, the tiredness had left his voice in an instant. Even in her panic, Teyla was grateful that he had just accepted her word. He did not tell her she was being silly or to relax.

"I do not want to leave. He could come back," said Teyla.

"If we use the scanner, it will be faster. Bring Rodney," John answered.

"What happens if he comes back and I am not here?"

"We'll still find him."

"Okay, okay."

"Command?" asked Petre.

"Yes, but you please stay here? If he comes back, I want someone to be here."

"Of course," he said.

"Take my radio. I will let you know as soon as there is any news."

"Go."

She tried to be calm, but she couldn't help but walk quickly. She made it to the transporter and to Rodney and Jennifer's room as fast as she could without actually running.

She had enough courtesy to use the chime, but she frantically pressed it. There was a muffled shout and Jennifer opened the door. She had on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top stretched tightly over her rounded belly.

"What?" It was not Jennifer's normal, friendly voice.

"I am sorry to wake you. I need Rodney."

"Teyla, what's the matter?" She obviously caught the fear on her friend's face.

"Torren is missing. I woke up and he was gone."

Jennifer didn't miss a beat. "Rodney, up. Teyla needs us."

He groaned from the shadows.

"McKay, get up," ordered Jennifer.

There was more grumbling, but Rodney appeared, pulling on a t-shirt and somehow a pair of sweatpants at the same time.

"Whatsa the matter?"

"Torren is missing. I woke up and he was gone," said Teyla again.

"Whatta you want me to do?" he said like an frustrated child.

"She needs you to run the scanner, obviously," said Jennifer. "Go." She grabbed his shoulder and pushed him out the door.

"I'm coming. I'm coming," he said.

The trudged down the passage. Teyla wanted them to move faster. She could keep the panic at bay as long as she was moving.

For once, Rodney seemed to pick up on it. "He's gonna be okay. He's lost. You know that right?"

"Thank you, Rodney."

They walked in silence and finally made it to command. John was waiting with a few of the other military personnel already on duty.

"Scanner," said John to Rodney.

Rodney made a face, "Hello, Rodney. I'm sorry to bother you and your pregnant wife in the middle of the night. We really appreciate you helping when any other tech could do this."

"McKay!" snapped John.

"Sorry," Rodney mumbled. He dropped down to one of the chairs in from of the computers. He focused.

Teyla reached out for John. Without even thinking, her arm stretched out. He moved around the console and took her hand. He pulled into a hug.

"He was just gone, John. I cannot feel him. I thought it was a dream. I thought I had only heard his laughter in a dream. He cannot be taken away again. I will not survive this again," she said.

He didn't answer but held her in his strong arms that were the only place she had felt safe in the past few years.

"I've got something," said Rodney.

John and Teyla broke apart. She heart started pounding again. Something did not necessarily mean good news or bad news.

Rodney continue. "Who's on patrol?"

"Michaels, Smith—"

"No, the number of people."

John stepped forward. "There are five pairs."

"Anyone in the jumper bay?"

"Evans and Diaz."

"Together?"

"Yes."

"Ask them to move out of the bay."

John tapped his radio, "Evans. Diaz. Move out the bay."

They were all gathered around the monitor. Two of the three blinking dots moved together and out of the area. A third dot stayed tucked in the corner.

"Evans, have you seen anyone else down there?"

"No, sir. But we just got down here."

"Okay. Stand by."

He looked back to Rodney.

"No one else is out of place," said Rodney. "Every other single dot is in one of the quarters."

"Okay, we'll go get check it out. C'mon, Teyla."

Teyla finally spoke up as they hurried towards the transporter. "Make sure your men wait. And let me borrow your radio."

Without waiting for the answer, she pulled the device away from this ear. The radioed her own ear piece.

"Petre, would you come to the jumper bay?"

"On my way," he answered without hesitation.

Teyla and John made it to the bay before Petre. The two officers were waiting just outside the wide archway and rows of puddle jumpers beyond it.

"What's going on, sir?" asked Diaz when he saw his commanding officer approaching.

"We think Teyla's son got a bit turned around," said John.

This answer seemed to satisfy the officers.

Now, Teyla hesitated. She just stood there in her pajamas, waiting. Waiting for what? She knew the others were watching her. She panic was fading. It was becoming clear that no one had taken him. He had just gotten lost. He was all the way at the other end of bay and she still couldn't sense him. Would he want to see her?

Petre arrived. He didn't have a chance to say anything when Teyla turned to him.

"You go," she said. "He needs to see a familiar face."

Petre took her elbow and pulled her away from the group. "He needs you. I know you are just as scared as he probably is, but he wants you."

"You cannot know that."

"I know that as brave as any little boy pretends to be, all he wants is his mother. I lost my mother when I was his age and still wish she was here. He is not hiding from you or running away; he got lost."

"I am just so scared. Scared of everything. I am scared of losing him. Scared of not being a good enough mother. Scared that I did not do the right thing by leaving him."

"I cannot help with any of that, but I know he is scared."

Teyla didn't wait any longer. She walked away from the little group. She passed each jumper slowly, peering down each row in the semi-darkness. She finally was able feel him. It was fear, but a profound sense of aloneness. At last, she found him.

Torren was sitting on the floor in between that last two jumpers. He had his knees tucked underneath his chin. His head was down. She just stood in front his huddled form. She could see his shoulders rising and falling with each shaky breath.

"There you are," she said very softly.

He jumped and looked up. His eyes were wide orbs and his lower lip was quivering. He pushed himself up and ran to her. He knocked into her with such force that she had to take a few steps backward to keep herself from falling over.

"I got lost. I tried to go to bathroom and I could not find it. I tried to use the transport to get back to our room but I ended up here and I did not know what else to do. Do not send me away. It will not happen again. I am so sorry. Please do not send me away. Please, please," he said very quickly.

"My sweet boy." She wrapped her arm around him and pulled him even closer. "No matter what happens from this point on, I will never ever send you away. There is nothing _you_ can do that will make me send you away. Even if someday we fight and get very angry with each other, but I will never ever send you away."

"You are not angry with me now?"

"No, my sweet boy, I was just scared."

"You too?"

She bent down so she could look him in the eye. "Do you want to know a secret?"

"What?"

She kissed his forehead. "I am scared a great deal of the time."

"Really?"

"Because I love you so much. I do not want anything bad to happen to you. From the moment I found I was going to be a mother, all I want is for you to be happy and safe. So every second that I cannot see with my own eyes that you are happy and safe, I am worried. Tonight, when I woke up and you were not there, I was scared."

"This city is too big."

"You will get used to it. However, will you promise me one thing?"

"Yes?"

"You will wake me up next time?"

"Okay."

She kissed his forehead again. Neither of them moved. They just leaned against one another.

"Mother?" he asked after the long pause.

"Torren?"

"What about Sheppard?"

"What do you mean?" she said, knowing exactly what her son meant.

"The way you feel about him. It is different."

She couldn't define it for herself. "John and I are in a relationship. Kind of. It is complicated and something that adults pretend to understand. But it is on hold. You are my focus."

Torren didn't answer.

"It is not something you have to worry about. It is time to go to bed. Come."

She stood back up and lifted her son into her arms, even though he was nearly too big. He settled his head under her chin in a perfectly natural way, like he had done when he was a baby. Teyla moved towards the exit. Only John was still waiting. He was leaning on the door frame, but straightened as she came nearer.

"Everything okay?" John asked quietly.

"As we guessed, he was a little lost," said Teyla.

Torren squeezed her tighter and buried his face in her neck. Teyla felt a pang of her son's embarrassment.

"I tired to explain about the time I ended up on completely wrong pier and it took me hours to find my way back," she said. "And I have been living in Atlantis for months."

"At least the little man was in the same tower," John said, picking up on the fact that she was trying to make Torren feel better.

They had started walking. Teyla really was desperate to get her son back to bed. They paused at the transporter and Teyla had to heft Torren up to keep him from sliding down.

"Want me to get him?" asked John.

Nothing in the world would have made her willingly give up the weight in her arms. "No, I am fine."

They didn't say anything else until they were outside Teyla's door. "Tell Rodney thank you for me," she said.

"He has already gone back to bed."

"Of course," Teyla said with a smile. "And thank you, John."

"No problem." He leaned over and awkwardly kissed her on the cheek. She took in his scent and the roughness of the stubble on his face.

Torren kept his face hidden.

"Good night, you two," he said. He turned and began walking away.

Teyla waited a few more seconds and went back into her room. She put Torren down. He immediately curled under his blankets.

"And you will wake me up if you need anything?" she said.

"Yes, Mother."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"Because we are a pair and nothing is going to come in between us again. Nothing."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise. That does not mean that I will not have to work or go on missions or that you will not have to go to school, but at the end of the day, you are my son and I am your mother."


	10. Epilogue

Author's Notes: No beta, so please forgive my mistakes. This is it, everybody. All done. Thanks for reading and being patient.

Disclaimer: These are not my characters, I just play with them. No copyright infringement intended.

Epilogue

Teyla looked up. She stood up from the large, scrub table she had been bending over, easily abandoning the vegetables she had been cutting. There was that unmistakable feeling in her chest.

She crossed the crowded tent to the water-filled basin. She caught her reflection in the small chipped mirror as she rinsed her hands. Her hair had greyed and there were wrinkles around her eyes. How much a life could change in a year, or five or twenty.

She pushed open the tent flap and stepped out into the windy evening. The tall trees surrounding the clearing where the Athosians had set up camp swayed. She waited.

A moment later, a figure came into view around the around one of the other tents. He was a tall, power man, dressed partially in a black Atlantis uniform and partially in traditional Athosian clothes. There was a sidearm strapped to his thigh and a pair of carved Bantos rods in a sheath across his back.

Once again, Teyla felt a surge of pride. She couldn't help it. He was leader about in the camp and on the base. He was the head of his own team on Atlantis, a team the new commander used for the most delicate operations. He was a skilled fighter and a generous man.

She had felt him coming before he had reached the camp. Their connection had not wavered. It had changed over the years, much like the appearance of mother and son had changed too. The emotions were not as intense, but the range was much wider as if the bound had stretched.

"Hello, Mother," Torren said and wrapped in a strong hug.

It had been nearly three months since they had seen each other. Torren had been he barrowed by an archeology team for an extended mission. She hadn't know when he would be back and so she had gone to New Athos for the Tendol Feast.

"You did not even change," she said and tugged on the sleeve of his uniform.

"We kind of lost track of time on the planet. When I got back and realized it was day of the feast, I did not want to wait."

"I am glad you did not. Come in!" She pulled open the flap and entered the tent.

Torren followed. Since neither of them were staying on New Athos very long, they did not bother setting up their own tent. This one belonged to Halling's.

She returned to the vegetables and Torren ducked behind divider and changed out of his Atlantis uniform. When he reappeared, he had replaced the black uniform pants and jacket with a pair of natural leather pants and long coat. He had also removed his weapons.

He sat down at the table across from her and pulled the cutting board away from her. Without complaining, she handed him the knife as well. They were quiet. They didn't need to speak much. They just enjoyed the sensation of being hole again. They went through this process every time they were apart for more than a day or so. It was an adjustment period, a kind of recalculating of sorts. Teyla could tell he wanted to talk about something specific, but she waited. Instead, Torren began talking about his mission.

Teyla listened as best as she could. She was distracted by something else. It was also a day that she marked but passed unnoticed by everyone else.

It had been fifteen years since her son came back to her. In her mind alone, Torren had two birthdays. The day of his birth, that horrible, wonderful day. A day full of the beautiful anticipation of being able to actually hold her son for the first time and a day full of the unnamable fear of what was going to happen to him under Michael's care. Then, the elation of being rescued and being brought back home to Atlantis.

The second date was the day she was able to bring him home from his five years in hiding. Fifteen years from today. She didn't talk about that day much because it still brought back overwhelming emotions.

Torren took a step back. His eyebrows pulled together. "What is the matter?" he asked.

"Nothing. I am happy to see you."

"That is not the only thing I am feeling."

"You came home fifteen years ago."

He frowned for moment, trying to figure out what she was talking about. "From Weldon?"

"Yes."

"Mother, that was a long time ago."

"Yes, and you were gone for a long time. I still celebrate your return," she said and placed a hand on his cheek.

"But you are sad. You do not try to deny it."

"It was a difficult time for both of us. I try not to think about it, but I cannot ignore it today. Do not worry. The feeling with pass."

He watched her for a long moment. It was nearly impossible to keep anything from each other. The moment either one became happy, sad, worried, the other knew. They had learned over the years and through many intense arguments was Torren was fourteen or fifteen to respect each other privacy. The unspoken rule was let the other bring up the cause of the feeling; don't pry or pester.

He opened his mouth, clearly about to break this rule when a voice from outside the tent called, "It is Maia. I have come to see Torren."

"Enter," Teyla called back.

A young woman pushed through the tent opening. Maia was a pretty woman with a kind, round face. She was very petit and usually quiet unless she lost her temper. She and Torren were very close and Teyla could sense how much Torren loved her.

Torren stood up when Maia entered, but she went to Teyla first and placed her hands on shoulders. Their foreheads touched. Then, Maia went and did the same with Torren, although it was awkward as if he had expected a different greeting.

Teyla tried to hide her smile. She could feel the rush of nerves and excitement. Something big was about to happen. Again, Teyla waited. They exchanged pleasantries and Torren told them a little bit more about his mission. They talked about the feast and then Maia left.

This was no what she was expecting. Torren went back to the cooking as if nothing had happened. She concentrated and she found the felling deeply buried.

"You better be careful or she is going to get away," Teyla said. "Anyone with eyes can see how much you love her and no one can wait forever."

"Do you mean Maia?" he asked.

"Of course!"

"I have my duties on Atlantis. I cannot—"

"You can hide it from everyone but me. Torren, my sweet boy, you are afraid. You are afraid of losing her or being killed yourself. It is a risk every couple must take no matter what their duties are. What makes you special?"

He stared, open mouthed at her. "How can you say that?"

"What? Encourage you to take a risk?"

"Ask me what makes me special. Because it is you. You made me special. You gave me this gift, this connection and I can feel everything you feel. I already know what losing a lover feels like. I had a very real idea what it is like to lose a child. Besides, you have no right to lecture me about taking risks. Ask Sheppard."

She felt a pang of guilt. In a small sense, he was right. Her relationship with John had been complicated for along time. They were together and had been for years, but she spent months away from him at a time. They shared quarters when she was on Atlantis but she had never allowed talk of marriage or more children. Conversations that a normal, healthy couple should have.

"My relationship with John is—"

"Is complicated," he finished for her. "For the love of the Ancestors, I know. Do you keep your distance out of respect for my father? I highly doubt. You accepted and forgave yourself for his death a decade ago."

It was more like having an argument with herself then with her son. "I was not trying to make you angry," she began, but Torren just kept talking.

"Or it is because you shared a connection with Kannan that you cannot find again. He had the gift too. Sheppard cannot understand that. How could you consider having more children when you know you will never be able to be as connected as you are with me? Then, there is me. How can any woman or any person compete with the connection I share with you? Any person I marry would always be on the outside of this," he said as he gestured back and forth in the gap between them. "I do not relate well to other people because I half expect to be able to read them."

She didn't have anything else to say. He was afraid that was true, but she had wrongly guessed at the source of the fear.

"Do not use me as an example. I have made a mess of everything. I have only ever wanted the best for you, but I have made many mistakes."

"You did what you had to do. They were not mistakes."

"Fine. I made choices that radically alter your life and that has led you to view the world in a certain way. What we share is unique, but you are not the first to be special. I grew up with the gift; I was special yet I found love and have a family."

"And it was nearly taken from you several times. And I know that feels. We were just talking about this an hour ago. It has been fifteen years since I came home—since you got part of your family back—and it still haunts you."

"I did not hide you on a forgettable planet so you can live in fear. I wanted you to live! If something had happened to me or Michael's experiments had succeeded, you still would have been alive to grow up and get married and have children."

"Marriage? When were we talking about marriage?"

"Torren, that is exactly what we are talking about! You do not have to marry Maia, but I need to know that you not be alone for the rest of your life."

"I am not alone. I have you and all of Atlantis and the Athosians."

"But I want you to have love," she said quietly. "I want you to be safe and happy."

"Why are trying to push me away?" He sounded like the nine-year-old who had just come back to Atlantis.

"Never ever. I want you to get married and give me grandchild and live in the room next door to me until I die. You cannot live in fear of the bad things or you will miss the good things. And you are going to miss so much."

"It is my life," he snapped.

"Of course and you know that I am so very proud of you. No matter what you chose." She conjured up the way she had felt when she had first seen him walking through the camp just hours before. "But do hold back because of feeling you experienced through me. Please, live your own life."

He finally had nothing left to say. He just put him head down on the table. She got up and she sat on the bench next to him. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Hours later, Teyla stood around the large bound fire, surrounded by her people. Night had fallen and everyone was in a good mood. Their bellies were full of food and wine. Music was playing and many people were dancing, including Torren.

Teyla had been talking with a small group of people, mostly about the harvest, but she had become quiet when Torren had pulled Maia to her feet. They were dancing together with their bodies close together.

Teyla watched closely. Torren leaned over and whispered something in Maia's ear. Her looked up at him with bright eyes and nodded. He kissed her and Teyla felt his happiness soar.

Halling suddenly appearing, pulling her out of her thoughts. "Care to dance?" He grabbed her hand without waiting for an answer and allowed herself to be pulled to the dance floor.

After a while, Torren cut it.

"Mother, you were right," he said.

"She said yes." It wasn't a question. The final pieces of her life were falling into place. She was perfectly happy, being near her son, her people and celebrating for the sake of celebrating.


End file.
